failson | ic spam

I'm listening... 👀

ok so their opening hours are 10am-8:30pm. i did some Investigative Work and the "logistics team" that clears and stocks the shelves comes in DAILY at 4am. so there's a six hour window before opening where shit gets thrown away. BUT. they have a trash compactor they run at the end of the shift.

IF someone were to dumpster dive for these treasures, i think 5am-6am is prime time but NO LATER than 7am or they might get compacted.

You make a compelling argument. I'm in.

here's the catch: i want us to get hitched and do it as possums

Ooooh, I'm double in, I LOVE your powers.

but that means getting parson to agree to hitch us early morning.

although i suppose it doesn't have to be costco but the risk of the compactor is a bit of a thrill for me

Would bribery help, do you think?

~~We'd probably hear it coming anyw~~ Would your powers make us invincible opossums?

possibly. i like to come in with a strong offer to keep negotiations short. do you know what he might like?

and... no. out of the 196 trash compactor related incidents reported to OSHA since 1984, 91 of them resulted in fatalities. that's about a 46% chance of dying.

He would probably like to not know about the 46% chance of dying thing. Maybe he'd like something fun. Like a gift card to Build-A-Bear.

I feel like you've gotten out of worse scrapes as an Explorer. I trust you.

ummmm... about that... i usually let other people take the hit and i heal them?

If I get cronched by a trash compactor for the sake of adventure can you fix me?

yes!! as long as you don't die. so like... brain and heart need to stay in one piece but the rest can get cronched.

Well, I've had a good run. Let's do it!

you know, you seem a lot more confident lately. what changed?

Having more control over my powers is pretty great? And now I can do more than just look weird? I mean, I'm essentially still trapped here, but maybe someday I won't be.

Also, they put me on the station TikTok and it's causing a PR disaster for my shitty family, so I'm living.

trapped? why do you say that?

but please let me know if there's anything i can do to make your shitty family's situation worse. genuinely. i would do crimes for you as long as there's no chance of getting caught and facing negative consequences for my actions.

1) The shop is my only source of income, 2) I don't have family or friends or a safety net of any kind out there, 3) The fainting thing makes me an easy target; I could conceivably eventually sell the shop, pack my stuff into a suitcase, and catch a bus out of Colchester, but what then? The school thing might help with that, but again, that's tied to IRIS. I'm like one of those little rehab animals that can't be returned to the wild.

I'm honoured, thank you! Right now, I'm writing fake Yelp reviews from a bunch of fake accounts saying their restaurants gave me salmonella.

hm... i suspected as much. we need to get you out of the station more.

Suspected what?

I would like to get out more, but I don't really like bugging you or anyone else to take me with you.

that you don't have any strong connections on the outside. 1 and 3 were known factors, but 2 is vital for easing the burdens of 1 and 3.

every time i leave the station to run errands, i'm going to invite you to come with me but i want to be clear that this comes with no obligation or expectation to accept.

Oh. Well, you were right. I don't really have contact with anyone I used to know out there. It's why I didn't have anywhere to go when the station shut down.

Really?? I would love that??? But only if it's not too much trouble. I can pay for gas! But also don't let me cramp your style.

i care about you. if you truly feel trapped here then i am going to help with your 2 and 3, which will hopefully help you solve your 1.

Thank you! I care about you, too! If there's anything I can do to help you in return, I will do it (crimes included).

i need you to convince parson that hitching us so we can dumpster dive at an unreasonable hour is actually very cool and fun for all parties involved.

Edited (where did those capital letters come from) 2023-10-15 23:25 (UTC)

I can do that! I'll tell him it's ~for science~✨

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rafflesian - 2023-10-15 23:35 (UTC) - Expand

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failson - 2023-10-15 23:48 (UTC) - Expand

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