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you mean you don't want a freshly separated-but-not-divorced 37 year old with three young kids who just want their parents to get back together and are upset that you're even hanging around?

are you going to faint if i crush you or should i let somebody else step in?

Ugh, I'm not cut out to be a stepparent.

I don't think I will! It's calming.

you'd get bullied by the 11 year old and all their shitty little friends.

okay. let me ask around and see who's down.

They'd firstname me and mercilessly bully me into buying them a PlayStation.

I look forward to hearing whatever you find out!

and make a game out of trying to make you faint, or parts of you transform. i can see it so vividly.

Terrifying! You should write an A24 horror movie.

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