100% really. Let's have a sticker guy summit over cheap hot dogs, pizza, churros, and those very good strawberry ice cream sundaes that I pretend don't have Red-40 in them. And we can get rotisserie chickens to go. I don't think people will be too freaked out. They might want to kill us in the parking lot, but otherwise, I think it'll be chill.
And sure. What's up? You were diagnosed as Keroppi?
That sounds amazing! I've never been to Costco, but then I'm usually afraid of going out in public because I don't want anyone to scream and run away at the sight of my hideous mutations. The last thing I'd want to do is ruin anyone's day, you know?
I mean, I might be Keroppi? I feel like I've viewed myself more as a Big Challenges these past couple of years, but I could be wrong?
So like, I thought that after the whole teeth thing, I was maybe turning into an opossum? But it turns out I can maybe just like, control the level of opossumness? So maybe I can try to look more normal for Costco so that I won't embarrass you. No guarantee though, this is a really new discovery that I'm not quite sure what to do with yet
I get you. But I'm really not kidding when I say that everyone's day is ruined the minute they pull into the Costco parking lot. (That's why you need to get a hot dog to unruin your day.) People aren't going to scream and run away from you, but they might scream and run at you if you take the last organic bagel bite pizza sample. [...] Should we do the drive-through car wash, too? Dinner and a show?
Huh. I can see that for you. I'm not really the Sanrio expert, I just had an ex into all the characters. That's how I know. And why I have Gudetama boxers.
Oh shit, no kidding? Is everyone discovering new aspects of their powers??? You should practice that, but not because you're afraid you'll embarrass me at Costco. Actually, I might embarrass you at Costco. [...] I'm just letting you know because you're going to see anyway, but I am buying condoms. But I'm going to strategically hide them in a tent made of a giant million-chip bag of Hot Cheetos on one side, and a three-million lb bag of organic basmati rice on the other, so don't worry. š
They make organic bagel bite pizza now??? What else have I missed??? Ooooh, I love the drive-through car wash. It's been years!
I just learned a lot from stickers. I've made up a little narrative in my head about all the characters and I'm not ready to find out I'm wrong.
I'm practicing! But I haven't like, updated my registration yet because I'm not really sure if it qualifies as a real update? It's all just hybrid physiology, kind of?
You definitely shouldn't be embarrassed by that! But if it makes you feel any better, I'll buy some extra chips to help you hide them.
Organic frozen fruit slush cups, organic mustard, artisanal organic snickerdoodle-flavored hummus (Do Not Get This). I saw organic water once. Don't know what that means, but it exists.
I don't think you should ever read the official narrative. Reject what the Man says, blaze your own trail. Down with Mr. Sanrio.
My registration says touch-based telekinesis and telepathy, so I'm covered if I'm suddenly able to break apart a large boulder the size of a small boulder by flicking it with my pinky. If you have an umbrella term, I wouldn't bother. They'd probably get mad at you for wasting a form. That's really cool though, about your powers. You must be excited.
Thank you. That will help. For some reason, I always seem to do my Costco run at the same time as this kind of bougie soccer mom. She wears Nike Pandas so obviously that tells you all you need to know. She's my enemy, and I just don't want her to know that positive things happen in my life. I don't want her evil eye on my stuff.
It's a brave new world out there, but am I ready for it?? Maybe you can tell me what all the best stuff is to stock up on, since I can't just go buy fries at Food Here any more.
Thank you for the characters, Mr Sanrio, but I can take it from there. š
That's very true! And yes, I am very excited! Unless it does mean I'm actually turning fully into an opossum forever, in which case, I will be considerably less stoked.
Can I help in any way? I can pretend to be a dirtbag, if you want.
For sure, dude. You'll be Anthony Bourdain and I'll be your local food guide. And you can act like the Costco hot dogs are some crazy good unique and hyper-local dish, and then say something really political right after.
I mean, perma-possum life would be very unstokeworthy, but since you said you can control some things, I don't think you're at risk of that? It's worth monitoring, though. You should keep a powers progress journal. I did that back in the day. It was actually helpful.
Yes, you can help by putting your evil eye on her stuff. Not the stuff for her soccer kids, because they're innocent in this. But if she's buying another $600 leg of jamon iberico, we need to put the evil eye on that. [...] Also yeah you can get entire legs of jamon iberico at this Costco.
I can't wait to get profound and worldly with you over Costco hotdogs!
I've managed to fix some smaller things for short periods, but it's hard to keep it up for long since it requires varying levels of concentration? I managed to keep the fangs at bay for the entirety of the soft open, but I was too tired to keep it up by the end of the night, and then I had an outbreak of whiskers. A progress journal is a fantastic idea, Jack! I will definitely give that a shot, thanks for that. Have you ever heard of anyone else's powers changing this late after getting them? Or am I just a late bloomer?
I didn't realise the kind of people who ate jamon iberico shopped at Costco? I'm learning so much and I haven't even gone yet.
Weirdly enough, I know of two people whose powers changed a little, or they discovered they had more powers than they thought. Like after the storm.
Each Costco has different things. My old one didnāt have jamon iberico. I know some carry $31,000 bottles of expensive scotch, which honestly freaks me out. Thereās something for everyone at Costco.
Oh I mean I donāt know for sure if the storm did it. But itās a weird coincidence it made so many peopleās powers go haywire, and now people are experiencing more changes, you know? Anyway, talk to Crysta about her powers changing. I donāt think Evan is ready yet.
I donāt think I can exist in the same Costco aisle as a $31,000 bottle of scotch. One of us is going to get destroyed.
DM, 8/15
Why am I getting these, btw? Not complaining but idk why you said Iām owed stickers?
DM, 8/15
[...] Oh, I don't actually remember why, just that you should have them.
DM, 8/15
Huh. Mystery stickers. Well, I owe you one. Do you want to go
to Costco sometime?
DM, 8/15
[...] Really? I would love that? I mean, as long as you don't think people would be too freaked out?
[...] Actually, can I tell you a secret?
DM, 8/15
And sure. What's up? You were diagnosed as Keroppi?
DM, 8/15
I mean, I might be Keroppi? I feel like I've viewed myself more as a Big Challenges these past couple of years, but I could be wrong?
So like, I thought that after the whole teeth thing, I was maybe turning into an opossum? But it turns out I can maybe just like, control the level of opossumness? So maybe I can try to look more normal for Costco so that I won't embarrass you. No guarantee though, this is a really new discovery that I'm not quite sure what to do with yet
DM, 8/15
Huh. I can see that for you. I'm not really the Sanrio expert, I just had an ex into all the characters. That's how I know.
And why I have Gudetama boxers.Oh shit, no kidding?
Is everyone discovering new aspects of their powers???You should practice that, but not because you're afraid you'll embarrass me at Costco. Actually, I might embarrass you at Costco. [...] I'm just letting you know because you're going to see anyway, but I am buying condoms. But I'm going to strategically hide them in a tent made of a giant million-chip bag of Hot Cheetos on one side, and a three-million lb bag of organic basmati rice on the other, so don't worry. šDM, 8/15
I just learned a lot from stickers. I've made up a little narrative in my head about all the characters and I'm not ready to find out I'm wrong.
I'm practicing! But I haven't like, updated my registration yet because I'm not really sure if it qualifies as a real update? It's all just hybrid physiology, kind of?
You definitely shouldn't be embarrassed by that! But if it makes you feel any better, I'll buy some extra chips to help you hide them.
DM, 8/15
I don't think you should ever read the official narrative. Reject what the Man says, blaze your own trail. Down with Mr. Sanrio.
My registration says touch-based telekinesis and telepathy, so I'm covered if I'm suddenly able to break apart a large boulder the size of a small boulder by flicking it with my pinky. If you have an umbrella term, I wouldn't bother. They'd probably get mad at you for wasting a form. That's really cool though, about your powers. You must be excited.
Thank you. That will help. For some reason, I always seem to do my Costco run at the same time as this kind of bougie soccer mom. She wears Nike Pandas so obviously that tells you all you need to know. She's my enemy, and I just don't want her to know that positive things happen in my life. I don't want her evil eye on my stuff.
DM, 8/15
Thank you for the characters, Mr Sanrio, but I can take it from there. š
That's very true! And yes, I am very excited! Unless it does mean I'm actually turning fully into an opossum forever, in which case, I will be considerably less stoked.
Can I help in any way? I can pretend to be a dirtbag, if you want.
DM, 8/15
I mean, perma-possum life would be very unstokeworthy, but since you said you can control some things, I don't think you're at risk of that? It's worth monitoring, though. You should keep a powers progress journal. I did that back in the day. It was actually helpful.
Yes, you can help by putting your evil eye on her stuff. Not the stuff for her soccer kids, because they're innocent in this. But if she's buying another $600 leg of jamon iberico, we need to put the evil eye on that. [...] Also yeah you can get entire legs of jamon iberico at this Costco.
DM, 8/15
I've managed to fix some smaller things for short periods, but it's hard to keep it up for long since it requires varying levels of concentration? I managed to keep the fangs at bay for the entirety of the soft open, but I was too tired to keep it up by the end of the night, and then I had an outbreak of whiskers. A progress journal is a fantastic idea, Jack! I will definitely give that a shot, thanks for that. Have you ever heard of anyone else's powers changing this late after getting them? Or am I just a late bloomer?
I didn't realise the kind of people who ate jamon iberico shopped at Costco? I'm learning so much and I haven't even gone yet.
DM, 8/15
Each Costco has different things. My old one didnāt have jamon iberico. I know some carry $31,000 bottles of expensive scotch, which honestly freaks me out. Thereās something for everyone at Costco.
DM, 8/15
Also that's wild? I confess, I* used to be rich, but never $31,000 bottles of scotch rich.
*Well, moreso my parents were/are, I guess.
DM, 8/15
I donāt think Evan is ready yet.I donāt think I can exist in the same Costco aisle as a $31,000 bottle of scotch. One of us is going to get destroyed.
DM, 8/15
Imagine if you went Whoops! and dropped it.