failson | ic spam

now i crave that tea.

~~i think he's~~ [...] we could. but he wants to take it slow and i don't mind. i really like him.

are you an anne rice fan or were you just nervously babbling because it was your costume?

I tried to impress her by climbing the furniture to turn the security system off, and I got electrocuted and blacked out and dislocated my arm, and now it's a whole... thing. She covered me with a sheet like I died. I still can't look her in the eye. It was really stupid. I saw her in the hall yesterday and she said "haha, oh boy"—nothing else! What is that supposed to mean anyway?

You should do whatever you both feel comfortable with! He's a really nice guy and he clearly likes you a lot.

I used to be until I posted some horny fanfiction as a teen and got a cease and desist from her lawyers.

oh, god, that was you. i thought that was C++ keith.

Yes! It was me! I wish I'd just died for real!!!

oh my god... i've been spreading rumors that it was c++ keith. nobody can know the truth.

I hope everyone believes you! It's the straightest thing I've ever done. 🤢

THAT'S WHY I'VE BEEN TELLING EVERYBODY IT WAS C++ KEITH. okay, this is good. i already have a control on the narrative. i've been swearing up and down it was keith's ass.

... i was also kind of distracted, though.

oh god do we have to gaslight eustie? i think she'll be cool. i think she hates keith.

Edited 2023-11-05 04:12 (UTC)

I think she was drunk. Maybe I can pretend I wasn't there.

you had an ibs flair up. it's believable because nobody would volunteer that information willingly unless they shit so much, it's just a fact of life. you're an innocent man with a sensitive tummy and you were excited to go but you couldn't make it.

Oh, you are good.

i know.

how's your tummy feeling today?

SO bad. Tummy trouble city.

oh my poor baby. is the stress from these accusations messing with your gi tract?

If only C++ Keith would just come clean.

it's too much to expect C++ keith to be honest but at least we know the truth. maybe it's just time we all let it go and move on. he's just human, after all.